13th Day Without a Cigarette

Anybody that knows me would tell you that I am the least likely person in the world to ever quit cigarettes. I have not gone one day without a cigarette since my 11th birthday and my cigarettes have always been my best friend. I started stealing my mother's camels at 9 and by the time I was 11 I was addicted and had become a regular smoker. I smoked through the flu, I smoked through countless URI's, and I smoked through my two pregnancies. I'm not proud of any of this, I'm only mentioning it so that people realize how severely addicted I had become. Many of my friends have quit smoking over the years and I never once thought that I had the willpower to join them. I always needed my nicotine, and when I spent a yr in a non smoking college dormitory I had a tin of Skoal that I would dip when i was inside. Yep so thats how bad I was. On Christmas eve my daughter announced that she was quitting smoking the next day and wanted me to join her in this journey to become a non smoker. I laughed it off and said for her to quit and maybe i'd quit in a month or so. But then I began to think that I'm 38 yrs old now and have been smoking 28 yrs, and really I knew I should at least give it a try. So I told my daughter yes i would quit with her. We sat up and smoked Christmas eve and on the way to bed we both threw out our left over cigarettes. Now I did not go into this with high expectations for myself but I did want to do it so that my daughter would quit. Probably my biggest regret as a smoker is that both my girls picked up the nasty habit too. So we began Christmas day with our coffee and no cigarettes, talk about traumatic but we both decided we were not going to give in. Later in the afternoon I did run to the CVS to pick up some Commit Losenges for us which believe it or not really helped take alot of the cravings away. To make a long story short...or shorter lol, 3 days into our quit and hundreds of losenges later, my daughter gave in and started smoking again. But by then I figured that I'd gone longer than I ever have without a cigarette and I had become determined I was going to quit for good. My daughter accepted the fact that she'd smoke outside and not in front of me...she did not want to tempt me anymore than I was already. So now it's been 13 days and no it hasn't been easy at all but I have not had even one puff of a cigarette since Christmas eve. Oh yes my dreams are filled with thoughts of nicotine and yes I'm bitchy and yes there are moments I'd give anything for just one puff....but nope I'm not going to give in. I've gone too long now to go back to my old life as a smoker. I'm still on the losenges and I did give in and buy a tin of Skoal but I haven't opened it yet and I don't think I will. I truly want to become a non smoker now that i've gone this long.....Maybe I will just have to suck on my losenges forever but hopefully soon my dreams of having a cigarette will disappear and the cravings will go away. I don't consider myself a non smoker quite yet but I want to beat this addiction and to me it is now a challenge as to whether I can beat cigarettes or will I let cigarettes beat me. Keep your fingers crossed for me, I really want to become a non smoker and I'm closer to that day than I have ever been.

Well I'm Getting a Son in Law

Well my oldest daughter Alli who is 17, got engaged over Christmas and the wedding will be in June although the actual date has not been determined yet. We are all really excited and now our time is spent on looking at bridal magazines, deciding the guest list and all the fun little details that go along with getting married. I'm excited for her and Matt, although they are still young they have been together forever or at least it seems that way lol. Married life won't be easy for them since he'll still be in college and she'll be a senior in high school next year but if any young couple can make it, I think they can. And no she isn't pregnant thank god. She has officially moved into Matt's house now but he's only 10 minutes away so I still see her almost every day. And I'm not an empty nester, having Jenny still here with me helps alot. So alot of exciting times going on here and lots of planning that needs to be done. We are all going to a bridal show next weekend which I think will give us all alot of ideas, and hopefully that will give her a better idea of what type of dress she wants. It's been funny the comments we have gotten from friends and relatives about the engagement. Some are so shocked that they are getting married so young, and others are absolutely thrilled for them. As for me I'm excited and there are no guarantees that any marriage will last regardless of the couples ages, but they are happy and that's all that matters. I'm not sure anybody ever reads my blogs but for me it seems to be theraputic lol. Happy new year everyone, Hugs, Barb