So many times you hear parents saying that the only safe sex is abstinence. They put the fear of God into their kids heads about std's and getting pregnant that they miss out, or at least in my opion, they miss out on letting their children grow into happy healthy well adjusted adults.
Most common forms of birth control these days are 99.9% reliable when used correctly. Yes there are some that are not quite as effective but when talking about the pill, the patch, depo, the nuva ring and others, the reliability is proven...but they must be used correctly. The same with condoms, when handled and used properly. (condoms are stated to be 85-98% effective but the testing does not include proper handling or usage.)
So what I'm saying, if you have a belief system that premarital sex is wrong, that's ok explain that to your children but do not use the fear tactic of there is no such thing as safe sex. Everyone has their own beliefs that they try to instill in their children and that is a parent's job.
If on the other hand you have come to the realization that your children do or might someday have sex, then education on the proper use of birth control and condoms is so very important. You can't just say here are the condoms good luck and have fun. And you just can't send your daughter to Planned Parenthood and hope she gets on something. Oviously it's important to talk to the gyn about what method is best for each girl and do your research, but most women can find something that is to their liking. And don't forget to talk about the need for condoms and their proper usage. There is much more to know than just sliding it on the male partner.
The point of this blog, (c'mon get to it Barb) is that yes there is such a thing as safe sex for both teens and adults. If your child is sexually active, do your research and talk to your gyn, and explain in detail the proper use of birth control to your teen. It's even better if you have the discussion with both your teenager and his or her partner at the same time. It's important that in any relationship both parties have a full understanding. If your like me and your kids understand the proper use of birth control, then you can relax in the knowledge that your children will be safe and can learn to explore and enjoy their sexuality without worry. And even if you do not believe in premarital sex, please do not scare your children into thinking that if they have sex they will get an std or become pregnant.
Just my thoughts for the day! Love me or hate me, I'm Barb!
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2 comments:
I'm going to add to one point, Barb, that you almost got to but didn't flesh out much. You say "If you have a belief system that premarital sex is wrong, that's ok explain that to your children but do not use the fear tactic of there is no such thing as safe sex. Everyone has their own beliefs that they try to instill in their children and that is a parent's job." and then juxtapose that with "If on the other hand you have come to the realization that your children do or might someday have sex, then education on the proper use of birth control and condoms is so very important."
The problem here is that just because a parent is opposed to pre-marital sex does not really have any implications on their beliefs about post-marital sex. Indeed, most parents want their kids to get married and produce happy grandchildren at some point (being in support of this traditional paradigm is particularly common among those who object to pre-marital sex).
But in order to produce an appropriate number of happy grandchildren, their kids are going to need to fully understand the human reproductive cycle, and how to keep from poping out babies every 15 months.
So even if you do oppose pre-marital sex, if you also support post-marital sex, you've still got to get good sex education for your teenagers.
I totally agree once again Barb. I'm going to let my 12 year old DD read this later and after we discuss this blog I'll let you know how it went.:)
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