What Do You Teach Your Kids About Sex?

For many parents, it's hard enough to talk to their kids about sex but should you teach them about sex as well? Hopefully most parents discuss the emotional consequences of sex, std's, pregnancies etc. And we all have to discuss sex with our kids in the framework of what we as parents believe. But once the basics are covered and we are accepting of our teenagers sexual activity, what kind of conversations do we have next?

Anyone reading this probably knows that I think sex should be a wonderful enjoyable experience in committed relationships, whether it be adult or teen relationships. I've always explained to my kids the importance of:

1. Continually talking to their partner about sex.
2. Exploration..learning what both parties enjoy and not being afraid to try new things.
3. Understanding that both parties in a relationship need to feel fulfilled, it's not just a one way street.
4. Being aware that sex is only one part of a healthy relationship.

It's also important to realize that all kids are different. My oldest daughter is much more private and our conversations regarding sex are usually brief and limited, although she does know that I'm always willing to listen if she wants to talk. My 16 yr old on the other hand, is my talkative and inquisitive one. Although she does talk alot and has always had many questions, in most cases I don't pry into the specifics of her sex life, there are somethings that even i don't want to know lol.

But with both my girls I have always felt that the sex talk needs to go beyond the safe sex aspects. It's important that they know how important it is that both parties talk about sex and just don't do it without any conversation. Explaining what is enjoyable and what isn't is what keeps a relationship evolving and growing. Being willing to explore various activities is the only way we find out what gives us pleasure and what does not. There are many resources for all of us to learn about new techniques or different activities. There are books, movies and online sites that are wonderful resources for people of all ages. Especially in the teen years, what they learn now is the basis for healthy relationships as they get older. And kids need to know that both partners have needs that should be taken care of, and a good understanding of the others needs is so important. And most importantly, sex is good, sex is fun, sex is exhilarating but there is much more to any relationship than just good sex.

I think if we can make our kids aware of the above, they will develop into emotionally healthy, happy adults with a strong sense of who they are and this will go a long way into developing strong relationships in the future.