I just read a post in one of my groups that got me riled up. A few Moms were talking about how they wouldn't provide condoms to their teenagers. They said they wouldn't provide condoms and they wouldn't allow their kids to have sex. Jesus Christ...what are these people thinking? Now how in the hell can you prevent teenagers from having sex once they decide to do it? Do these moms think they can just tell their kids that they can't have sex and the kids will listen? WTF?
Ok now I admit I'm pretty liberal and as I've posted before I think sex can be wonderful in committed relationships. Yes even for teenagers! Teens have the same sex drive as we adults do, they maybe have an even stronger desire for sex than we do. You can't just say, no don't have sex and no I won't provide you condoms or birth control. That is a sure recipe for unwanted pregnancies. If you tell your kids how bad sex is and how wrong it is....how do you expect them to be able to talk to you and come to you for guidance? All that is accomplished is to force the kids to sneak around and many times engage in unsafe sex.
Now I don't think casual sex for teenagers is a good thing at all, but it is our job as parents to talk to our kids, make them know they can talk to us about anything, and keep the lines of communication open. By doing this, we can hope they will listen to us and come to us when they have serious issues they are dealing with. Kids need to know that they can say "NO" to sex but they also need to know to be safe when and if they do decide that they want to take that step.
Finding out your teenager is sexually active can be a traumatic experience for parents, but it's a fact of life that nowadays many kids will not wait until marriage to start having sex. So we as parents can either accept it and guide our kids to be happy, healthy and safe, or we can say OMFG, no way, you can't have sex.
As your teenagers grow up, it's important to listen to them, talk to them and not be judgemental. I'm definitely not saying we should encourage our kids to be sexually active, but many kids will take that step and we need to be there for them. Kids need to know that once they take that step it is something they can't get back, but it can also be a very wonderful experience that enhances a loving committed relationship.
So my point in all this rambling is, talk to your kids, listen to them, and don't freak out when you find out they've had sex. Be willing to get your daughter birth control, have the condoms available and hopefully our kids will learn to have healthy loving relationships when the time comes. I'm sure not everyone agrees with this post but it's just my humble thoughts.
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4 comments:
If my child is old enough to make a decision about sex, then he is old enough to spend a dollar or two to purchase his own condoms.
Thank you for taking the time to explain your views on this blog. I disagree with your beliefs (many, at least) but I think it is good for me to read them, if that makes sense.
When my kids are older I don't plan to teach them how "wrong" or "bad" sex is, because I think it is precisely the opposite of these things. However, I do believe it was made for married people, and I will teach them that too.
Hi Anonymouse..thanks for the comment and there's nothing wrong with respectful disagreements. Thanks again. Barb
I do agree with your post, we cannot stop our teens from having sex. I do think teens need to have rules and as parents it is our responsibility to enforce those rules and to be consistant. I also believe that during the teen years it is important to be a parent and not a friend. Today I had a guest post about teens and identity check it out http://www.troubledteenblog.com/teenage-bisexuality-self-discovery-or-trend/ Thanks for supporting Teens.
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