I recently read an article which stated that Americans look at teen sex as a risky experience while the Europeans feel that teen sex is a pleasurable experience. I think the Europeans hit the nail on the head. The only caveat that I'm making in this post is that, teen sex should be safe and consensual.
Although I'm sure even in Europe that parents don't encourage their children to have sex, they realize that if it happens there is nothing wrong with it. Bravo. What is so wrong with children seeking pleasure? It's a normal desire for both children and adults. Many adults seek pleasure through many activities such as smoking, drinking, laughter, and yes sex. So why can't we understand that children have the same need to seek pleasure just like us. When children are young they seek their physical pleasure from sucking their thumbs, and having a "binkie," and as they grow they learn about masturbation. After the onset of puberty teens tend to seek out different ways to seek out physical pleasure. Kissing and hugging becomes more of the norm after puberty. And then Sex can become an important form of pleasure for teens.
There is not a "magical age" where young adults can have sex, children mature differently. It is our responsibility as parents to accept our children's needs for pleasure as they grow up and to talk to them and prepare them emotionally to be responsible and safe in the activities they undertake.
So Moms and Dads out there, can you accept the fact that we all have a desire for physical pleasure, even our kids? Do you think like the Europeans or do you have the mindset of most Americans? It's all up to us as parents to determine what is best for our own children, for me, I say what's so wrong with good safe consensual sex?
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3 comments:
This is terrible, albeit not completely unexpected. Since you're probably still swooning over those oh-so-evolved European sophisticates, I won't even bother to criticize how lackadaisical and morally empty your "parenting" seems to be. Instead, I invite you to do some actual research on European society. It is currently reaping the rewards of fifty years or so of spiritual and moral nihilism, which, among other things, has produced a demographic crisis which is poised to drive their economies into the ground in the next fifty years. Not a single European country is having enough children to sustain its current population. If present trends continue, most Europeans will be of Muslim/Middle Eastern background by 2050. Now I believe that is perfectly fine and fair, but what of your cherished politics of sexual laissez-faire then? In a democracy, numbers equal power, and if Muslims become numerically dominant, European culture will change. Because I assure you, the vast majority of the people in this world (including Muslims) are not nearly so mesmerized by this European sexual jadedness as you are. You, like most Americans, are used to taking your cultural cues from Europe whenever you don’t like something here. This is a well-established phenomenon based on the fact that this is a European-based society whose citizens have been shaped, both consciously and unconsciously, by an extremely Eurocentric perspective. While this is understandable given our historical roots, it does not excuse the kind of intellectual mediocrity you’re peddling on this blog. Barring significant change, Europe is headed for demographic collapse, which naturally jeopardizes the survival of its cultural values. This isn’t doomsday sooth-saying, it’s based on the best available analyses and economic forecasts. Many of the economic hardships we’re seeing only now in the States have been going on there for years. I’ve actually been there and seen it; have you? Europe is not “the rest of the world.” The rest of the world is Europe, plus 150 other countries. Out of this vast diversity of cultural perspectives, why do you assume that the European way is the best? Is it really best, or it is just the one that best appeals to you?
-A graduate student, Euro-Mideast Relations
Well written article.
I myself am almost 19 years old and a current female student at SDSU in Brookings, SD. I am delighted to have found this blog while researching for a paper that I have been working on for weeks now. The paper is based on this same subject: The difference between America and Europe's views on teen sex.
The point that "Not a single European country is having enough children to sustain its current population" is completely irrelevant to this topic. In fact, the entire previous comment by Mr./Ms. "Euro-Mideast Relations" should be ignored.
Barbara is a perfect example of what parents should be as far as teen sex. Parents in America look at teen sex as if it's wrong, and they put so much pressure on abstinence that their teens don't come to them about sex-related issues. This is exactly what my mother did to me, and it caused us to have a terrible relationship. I didn't want to tell her anything, and we fought and bickered constantly. She didn't trust me and practically had me tied to a leash. She even took my "toys" away if you know what I mean...
Europe's more relaxed view on teen sex is the number one reason they have lower teen pregnancy and STI rates. Teens are more open with their parents and have better access to sex information and contraceptives. In fact, many teens in Europe are said to believe that sex should be in a committed, loving relationship, and having sex without a condom is just plain stupid.
And again, as for you, Mr./Ms. "Euro-Mideast Relations," who are you to criticize a loving parent who has a wonderful relationship with her kids? She's obviously doing a WONDERFUL job. Are you saying teen pregnancy is good? Because that's the only thing I concluded from your petty, insignificant blog. That, and you're bitter. For a big-time "graduate student," you don't seem to know a hell of a lot.
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