Saturday, March 15, 2008

Cyber Sex and Masturbation

I'm a member of several parenting groups and sometimes subjects that come up in the groups give me the motivation to blog in the anonymity of the internet. Recently there was a post about a mom walking in on her daughter who was having cybersex with her bf on a webcam in her bedroom. The mom was in shock and it sounded like she was ready to have a nervous breakdown over finding her daughter engaged in this activity. Obviously most people do not think like I do, but I say what's the big deal?

Cybersex is nothing more than masturbation, and albeit a webcam is more a form of mutual masturbation, why is this so bad? Obviously it had to be embarrassing for both the mom and daughter when the mom walked in, but what woman or man for that matter has never masturbated? It is a natural form of human pleasure, and it's definitely a type of sex that doesn't cause worry about pregnancy or std's, and most of us learned to masturbate at young ages. Yes Mom, most likely your child has masturbated before.

Is there a stigma about this type of activity? Obviously we do not want to see this type of activity from our kids anymore than they want to walk in on us when we are taking time to enjoy ourselves. But in privacy, children should be taught that self pleasuring can provide a wonderful feeling and is a great release at times for those sexual urges that we all get. Even if our children have sexual partners, the need to please one's self still occurs, and whether it is through a sex aid or the "old fashioned way," why is this such a big deal to some parents?

I read an article one time that talked about self pleasuring and mutual masturbation as a way to postpone our children's desire for intercourse. Now I'm not sure that's true but it is an interesting observation. I personally think that once a young couple enters the world of mutual masturbation they are more inclined to start intercourse, but again that's only my opinion. But I still don't think either of those activities is a bad thing in a committed relationship.

I have no problem with my two daughter's having sex aids, and I've even helped them shop online before for these items. Before you go saying, OMG Barb is nuts, let me tell you that searching the various catalogs online can be a wonderful educational experience and promotes great discussions with your kids about their sexuality. Once we can get past the embarrassment of talking about sex with our kids, we can have open and honest discussions.

So yes I admit, I have masturbated lol and don't tell anyone but I do enjoy it (shhhhh.) So as I ramble on....if I walked in on my daughter pleasuring herself while watching her boyfriend doing the same on a webcam, I'd smile and get out of the room as quickly as I entered, and remember from now on to knock the next time I decided to go in her room.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bravo, Barb, for bringing this up. I think cybersex and mutual masturbation are some of the best of the safest sex approaches.

I do have to say, though, that I think that girl was having sex with her boyfriend, not just masturbating. When there's another person on the other end, real-time, responding to you, I think that's sex, in just the same way that anal sex is sex, even though its not intercourse.

The computer offers us a way to, safely, explore areas we might not be able to otherwise. I was able to explore my BSDM tendencies in the safety of my own room, on the computer with others with the same tendencies. It was completely safe, and I appreciated that venue for exploration.

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