I Love My Teenagers, Yes I Do

I love raising teenagers, Yes I really do, and because of that I'm a member of several parenting groups. Typically the topics are about teen behavior whether it be drugs, sex, drinking or attitudes, and are written by frustrated parents. Now I do understand that there are "troubled teens" out there but I've come to the conclusion that there are just as many "troubled parents" as well. Now I'm no pollyanna, and I have seen teens that are very troubled, but I think there are alot of instances that it's the troubled parents that cause the troubled teens, not always, just in alot of cases.

I'm just a Mom, not a psychologist or a researcher in academia, so take what I write lightly. I have no silver bullets for raising teenagers but I think parents need to remember their own teenage years when they deal with their own kids. I think if we show them love, laugh at them, laugh with them, and cry when they cry, we can learn to be good parents. Teenagers are just a younger species of adults who are trying to become adults, and we as parents can either be there to guide them or we can be there to hold them back in their journey. It's all up to us. We as parents can either say that we won't let them make the same mistakes that we did, or we can say we will guide them so they can grow and learn from their mistakes and become happy successful adults.

I've posted before about the fact that I really only have three rules with my kids, safety, honesty and respect, and they have heard these three rules from me all of their lives.

Safety covers alot of activities from safe sex, drinking and driving, drug abuse, riding with unsafe drivers etc. Like I tell my girls safety covers anything when their physical or emotional health is at risk.

Honesty covers the need to be truthful at school, with friends, with employers, with partners, and at home. Now I know, there are times when I've not always been truthful and there will be times when our kids aren't always truthful, but if we ingrain in them the basic tenet of honesty, these lies will be few and far between, and will be more "white" lies than lies that impact their lives.

Then we get to respect, which is having respect for others and having respect for themselves. If we can teach our children to respect others, they will learn to be tolerant, non judgemental, loving human beings. I explain to them that they don't have to like everyone but they do need to respect everyone. When we teach them to respect themselves they learn everything from personal hygiene to getting good grades, to having good relationships.

So those are my three rules, and do I care that their rooms might be messey or that they might come home ten minutes late? I don't sweat the small stuff. When deciding what battles I pick I go back to my three rules. A good rule of thumb to use when we get upset with our kids, is to say to ourselves,"will it matter a year from now?"

Ok I know parenting isn't quite as easy as I make it sound, and I'm the hippy open minded mom, that your mom warned you about. But I love my teenagers and it's a great ride, although it won't last forever. We only have a short period of time to raise our kids and it's up to us to either bitch and complain or to sit back and treasure the time we have with them.